Reaching out.
For some people, it’s second nature. For others, it’s anxiety-inducing.
What will people think? What will they say? Will they see me as broken? Will they laugh at me? Will they even care? What if they just make me feel worse? What could they possibly say to change any of this?
Those are just some of the many thoughts that could possibly be running through your head when you consider opening up to someone about your inner demons.
You don’t know what they’ll say. There’s no way to predict what they’ll even do.
It may take a couple of times to open up to people because sometimes you have to find the right person to open up to. But once you do, you’ll regret why you haven’t done it sooner.
From my personal experiences, I was content solving my problems on my own.
During the most emotional parts of my life, I was able to get through it with my own willpower. So naturally I began to think, why would I need someone else. And in my defence, the couple of time I did choose to talk to someone else it always resulted in me feeling worse than before. Instead of easing the pain they piled on some new anxieties, so of course, that would discourage me from opening up in the future. Why make myself vulnerable when people will only hurt me more?
But as time went on, my inner turmoil became worse, and it became too much for me to carry on my own. The willpower and my self-created positivity were no longer working, and other options started to look better to me.
So I tried to do something I was afraid of doing. I was desperate, and I knew I couldn’t trust myself to get out of this mess anymore.
So I decided to talk to someone. I was super vague and downplayed a lot of my worries, but that was as much as I could even get out of myself before breaking down. And to my surprise, it helped me a lot. My head was clearer, and I could feel a literal weight being lifted off my chest and shoulders. They helped me out a lot. For the most part, all they did was listen, but I guess I justed needed someone just to be there for me. Maybe I just needed to know that despite all the things going wrong in my life, there was still someone out there who loves me just because I’m me. They see that I’m trying and they’re proud of me. They want nothing but the best for me. And knowing someone loves me like that is enough for me to get back up again.
Opening up is scary. I’m still not used to it, as a reflex, I’m ready to start sobbing before even getting a single word out. But it definitely helps. And just because one encounter ended up poorly, don’t let that discourage you from trying again. Because there is someone out there that will listen to you and care about the troubles that plague your mind. You’ll be alright.
…
So the wonderful week of courage has come to a close!
Definitely a lot bigger of a project than what I was expecting. But I do not regret a single moment of it!
It was also fun exploring the different types of courage out there. We’re so used to physical acts of courage that we forget that every day we’re being courageous. So applaud yourself! Because it really does take a toll on you when you step out of your comfort zone.
I hope you all enjoyed this week, and if it was the dash of wholesome you needed to make your day then I couldn’t be happier.
Well, that’s all for now.
Until next time you cool cats!